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Cedarpointism
Cedarpointism (also known as gay idiot syndrome) is a crack religion that is centered in the city of Sandusky, Ohio. It revolves around the amusement capital of the world, Cedar Point. The followers of the church on crack are often referred to as CP fanboys. history of the park itself in -6969 AD, a idiet by the name of billy the kid was running from king romulus when it was found that he was guilty of jerking a banana at 12:21 PM in the country of Chad while wearing socks on his hands and flying a cessna booby plane. he fled and took refuge in the land that today is that state of ohio. he ended up on a peninsula overlooking lake erie. he was going to found a city there, but he chose not to because he saw a milenial that was to fugly. however, he did leave his supply of kekland merchandise on the empty concrete parking lot in a cardboard box, and built a small outhouse to hide them in. remus, romulu's borther who was sent by romulus to arrest billy found teh peninsula to be sexy and he founded a city named paul_blart_is_bisexual_8997. remus die in 1870, when he had a stroke from sucking sap out of a nearby cedar tree, but it contained keramine and then he vomited soap and flew away. plato then arrived and founded a park that contained a really random collection of shitty trees and a MOTHERFUCKEN HORSE. in the year shit/shit, plato thought it would be funny to add a shitty rollercoaster and charge 59457890356 sexcoins to ride it, but he waited until 1892 when he added switchback railway. however, plato suicided and the ride was not shitty, it was only kind of shitty. the next major addition came in the year fuck, when donald trump bought the land out for a large loan of -1 million euros, and added the parks oldest surviving ride, blue streak. it was successful, but it was rumored that riding it at 69 AM on a tuesday would cause contraction of the ugly virus. in 1975, the year that corkscrew, a sexy ride from a sexy manufacturer was added, 69 minutes after a flying shark took a shit on switchback railway, causing it to explode into shaving cream. the entire country of flying shark was brought to court and ended with a mass murder of the whole country. in 1989, the sexy Arrow added another really sexy ride, magnum XXXL-200, an even sexier coaster. its pictured right on opening day. nothing interesting or out of place happened that day, as seen in the photo. the land was renovated into a park named trump's cedar point in -2 BC, and then to just the well-known cedar point in the year -dick. the park would not add another coaster until 1994 with the edition of Sexy Raptor Face XXXXXX, today called just raptor. this also marks the first coaster by the sexy swiss manufacturer b&m at the park. in 1996, Banshee was added, and the name was so hated that riots including naked fish printed on signs were outside, and you know for SURE that people are angry when you see naked fish printed on pick-it signs. so the trump administration renamed it Homosexual Mantis, today known as mantis, and the people calmed down instantly, no like seriously instantly. those four coasters were instant successes, each getting -69 riders on their first day. however, something big was being planned at trump's cedar point. something large. something YUGE. track and supports began arriving at the park that could only be from the other sexy swiss design firm intamin, which stands for "we are INTA MEN," which points out their homosexuality right off the bat. anyways, the supports were erected like a dong more than 300 feet in the sky. the people knew something sexy was coming, and so did the opposition the next day, trump's cedar point filed a trademark for the name "Adam Sandler is Gay." this absolutely amazing name was going to be the one for their new ride estimated to cost a small loan of 25 million dollars. the track was laid (heheh get it laid) onto the erect supports and it extended 310 feet tall. the coaster opened in 2000 under the name Adam Sandler is Gay, today known as millennium force. this is where the story of the crack religion begins. it was founded in 1999-2000, and developed and keeps its original over simple belief system - worship cedar point and cry constantly about critics of the park and not getting a mean streak RMC. anyway the year 2001 was trump's cedar point's most successful year since 1989, with 69 billion guests entering the park and donkeys. In 2002, more intamen track arrived at teh park and a 400 feet structure was erected. track was put into place and donald trump filed the trademark for the name "fukbals" fukbals opened in 2003. it was an even larger success than adam sandler is gay, and was the worlds first strata coaster as adam sandler is gay is the worlds first giga coaster and magnum xxxl-200 is the worlds first hyper coaster. fukbals is today known as top thrill dragster. donald trumps park lost money and went dankrupt. he sold the park in 2005 to cedar fair, who renamed the park cedar point, renamed magnum xxxl-200 to magnum xl-200, adam sandler is gay to millennium force, sexy raptor face xxxxxx to raptor, homsexual mantis to simply mantis, and fukbals to top thrill dragster. in 2007, SexyMaverickIsSexyGayAssHomo was proposed, but cedar fair only wanted the name maverick. therefore maverick was added in 2007. in 2013, a new coaster was added by bongsmokers&marijuanadealers, also known more commonly as b&m, and they added a wingrider coaster they were going to originally call "Total Waste of 30 Million," but the name was changed to gatekeeper : the parking lot coaster, then right after to just gatekeeper. however the original name best fits it in 2016, a useless addition was add, a dive coaster called "Sexravn," but due to copyright claims it was changed to Valravn because val means strong and they were referencing sex by saying strong due to the strongness of a man's pen- in 2018 the crack religion will be officially defounded because ugly streak is getting an remake by Rocky Mountain Cocksuckcers (RMC). belifes system worship cedar point and complain about not getting a mean streak rmc worship go to cedar point and be a fanboy obnoxious dickhead online deities Adam Sandler is Gay Millennium Force fukbals Top Thrill Dragster Homosexual Mantis (now called Rougarou (which is an even gayer name)) Magnum XXXL-200 SexyMaverickIsSexyGayAssHomo Total Waste of 30 Million Gatekeeper : Parking Lot Coaster Sexravn Valravn RMC (Rocky Mountain Cocksuckers) Bongsmokers&Marijuanadealers (B&M) my brother has a steel cock gimmie fucking vengeance because i was raped last aftermorning GCI (Great Cocksuckers International) evils and demons Ugly Mean Streak (DECEASED) Funhouse Sexcoaster Blue Streak CCI (Custom Cuckolds International) Vekoma (AKA dicksuckers united international) swamp cedar point is open today as coastercapital of world not really true tho, magic mountain technicly is so hehhehaCategory:Crack Religions Category:ID PLEASE Category:Approved by the flying spaghetti dick Category:The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell Category:Gayfags Category:Hey, you have a license for that? Category:Shitload of fuck Category:Religions Category:Adam sandler is gay Category:Anti-liberal Category:Coaster studios Category:Rollercoasters Category:CEDER POINNT